Hey, all.
This is Lazarus again.
In 2021, I was talking with my friend Delta about all of the shit I was going through at the time while deep in survival mode and about being an largely geared toward self preservation, and I predicted that once I got out of survival mode and was safe, I would sort of collapse. I would have no idea what the fuck to do with myself and kinda deflate and go more or less catatonic. That prediction has turned out to be more or less accurate most days.
As my life has stabilized, I find myself with less and less to solve and fewer fires to put out, with many of the remaining problems largely outside of my control and completely outside of my power to fix or help with. In short, most days, despite having the stability I worked so hard for, I feel more lost and adrift than ever. I have been sleeping a lot. I just dont have much desire to do much, and I do the rare activity when the mood or inspiration strikes. My general state reminds me a lot of when I lost my dad, Xavier, back in 2016.
I wonder a lot if Im subconsciously or somatically grieving all of the bullshit of the last three or four years or perhaps even longer because of how badly the wind has been knocked out of me. I barely even have energy to reply to a fraction of the dozens of messages on the various messaging apps I get daily, and I am trying to move away from feeling so bad about that because realistically I just cant right now. Thats the plain and simple fact of the matter. I only really respond to people and reach out or have my phone nearby at all if I feel up to it, which is rare, and I have been trying to strike a balance between isolation and social time so that I dont fall off the face of the Earth completely. I dont want to fully withdraw or even withdraw at all, but my brain and body have been demanding that to some degree, and Im going with that rather than fighting it so as to not make whatever this is longer and worse.
On the subject of recovery, I did a bit more research on what the underlying cause of my symptoms might be that have been making my body and mind feel so damn out of whack, and came up with a decent theory that my thyroid might have gotten ever so slightly cooked due to Heras , and the HRT Im on combined with the years of stress has been making it go, ah, ever so slightly haywire.
So I found some scholarly research that said that thyroid patients suffering from both hypothyroidism AND hyperthyroidism benefit from taking various forms of vitamin B and thiamine for their chronic fatigue especially. Luckily for me, a former friend of mine had send me a bunch of supplements she wasnt gonna use late last year and among them was a B100 complex supplement. So I decided to test my theory and give this shit a try and see if it did anything for my fatigue and other symptoms.
Well, it appears to be doing a fair bit. Im about five days into the test and my brain fog and pain is leagues better. It appears to be helping my lack of object permanence and executive function, as well, giving me some semblance of both. I have also noticed that Im not super overstimulated by huge amounts of sound, nor does silence understimulate me as badly. I can sit in silence for far longer without my mind itching for music or internally screaming. It may also be helping with the flashbacks, as well, but thats to be determined. I will need to continue the test for longer to see if it has any significant effect there. So perhaps my fried thyroid theory holds water. I will need to address this with my doctors next time I can spare a brain cell, haha.
Im also far less angry and my headaches are gradually getting better as I work through my anxiety, as they appear to be triggered by anxiety and moments of emotional distress, which the B100 appears to be lessening as a baseline. Yay for House MD-ing myself at home! I just love being an AuDHDer with a special interest in weird ass branches of medicine who was practically raised by doctors, hahahaaaaa. (This is partly sarcastic, partly genuine. Specialized knowledge and deep somatic intuition saves lives, dont let anyone tell you otherwise, its just annoying that my body is so weird and there are so many things that the medical field as we know it doesnt explore without months of waiting or you have the charisma of a fucking god).
Seeing as there are a lot of positive effects even through the semi-catatonia and the semi-catatonia predates the B100 test, I dont think the B100 complex is the culprit here. If anything, the supplement appears to be helping. Im just probably processing years of grief somatically that Im not entirely consciously aware of.
So that leaves a large amount of time to fill as I heal that would ordinarily be spent in agonizing mental or physical pain, parsing my way through interpersonal trashfires, or recovering from the aforementioned problems. That huge amount of time to fill raises some incredibly simple, yet profound questions that Im currently exploring the answers to: what the fuck do I do now What actually makes me happy now that Im living more out of love than out of spite and my brain and my body arent fucking screaming 24/7
I know I love writing on here and writing in general. I am deeply proud of myself for having a space that is mine that Ive maintained for months now even if I cant post daily, and that does a lot for my quality of life. I like having spaces that are mine where I can express myself with the people that I love that would be very difficult to take from me or from them. I know research and engaging in my myriad special interests lights me the fuck up. Emerson raids the local Little Free Libraries like the adorable gremlin he is and often spoils me by bringing books back about topics that he either knows Im fascinated with or that he thinks would catch my eye, and I do indeed feel very spoiled and lucky when he does that. That man is a catch and a half.
Ive seen the concept of dopamine menus floating around on the Internet for some time, as well, and Ive started merging that concept with a sort of free form to do list before I go to bed if Im not completely beat to fuck by the time I pass out and can spare a brain cell to dump all the things that might possibly bring me joy the next day even if things go to shit on paper. I often struggle in the moment to think of anything that would bring me a shred of happiness in the moment if Im sad or bored or anxious and looking for a pick me up, and having all of that on hand and prepped the night before helps a LOT in those moments.
I think all of those taken in tandem are a decent place to start. Im trying to move away from the notion that I have to have a Grand Plan or a goal to accomplish at all times and I really think that teenage me had it right when they said that happiness was having good talks, good music, and good food with good people. That was really their goal in life, and I think theyd be proud of me for getting here. I do a LOT of all of the above.
So stay tuned for more magic, horseshoes and weedwhackers (you decide what yall are in the comments). See you fuckers next time.
-Lazarus
Subscribe to Blog via Email
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
Email Address
Subscribe
#academics #beauty #catatonia #catharsis #charisma #chronicFatigue #chronicIllness #cptsd #creativity #deconstruction #delta #depression #Emerson #enneagram8 #enneagram8w9 #enneagramOfPersonality #happiness #healing #Hera #inspiration #introspection #intuition #medicalResearch #metacognition #music #ramble #rest #sliceOfLife #thyroidProblems #Xavier
Jai chang avec Camille Lin, la cratrice du podcast "Panser l'entreprise", sur les qui simposent actuellement au travail.
Base Montral, elle est consultante en prvention des risques psychosociaux et mne une rflexion opinitre sur les moyens de rduire la souffrance au travail en sappuyant sur des donnes et des outils solides.
metacognitionPractice what you teach. Because teachings don't function as symbols or metaphorsthey are incarnations of what they advocate.
Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, illness is suffering, death is suffering sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair are suffering union with what is displeasing is suffering separation from what is pleasing is suffering not to get what one wants is suffering.
Tous htros au boulot , avec milie Morand, lisabeth Feytit et Samah Karaki STREAM #16
Jennifer Gonzalez et Megan Sumeracki (Learning Scientists) nous parlent de ce qu'est la , de ce quoi elle ressemble lorsque nos moniteurs mtacognitifs sont bancals et de la faon dont les apprenants peuvent l'exploiter pour optimiser l'.
Source : Cult of Pedagogy
10 MILLIONS !
Quand jai cr Mta de Choc en fvrier 2019, je nai absolument pas anticip le succs quil rencontre aujourdhui. Je me suis simplement dit : Et si jessayais de faire connatre la avec un a a lair cool comme mdia et a me permettra de mexprimer entre deux ralisations documentaires ! Aujourdhui et depuis un moment dj, Mta de Choc est mon travail plein temps et les films documentaires sont clairement passs au second plan.
Want to learn about metacognition heres the basics
Waiting is one of the most difficult things to do especially if waiting for a decision or an expected outcome, and sometimes for a good reason. But as humans, we have the tendency to go overboard with anxiety that can put us in hyper-excitable states and become distracting.
When waiting turns into worrying, then theres a need to actively work on your mind to relieve the anxiety and maintain an optimistic outlook on life. This is because life is not going to stop happening just because youve slipped into a pervasive and distracting state of worry over things that are completely out of your control.
As someone who is fresh off my exams and awaiting results while having to address other important aspects of daily life, Im frequently haunted by thoughts of what ifs and cant seem to forget those questions I probably didnt get right. I am actively working on my mind everyday because it is very important for my future self to maintain the ability to make sound decisions even when there are grey areas or uncertainties.
This article is inspired by my journey of mastering the process of waiting and navigating uncertainties while keeping positive. It is going to be something old, something new, and something borrowed.
Ill start by outlining the things that I have noticed to happen when waiting with worry or anxious thoughts:
Slowed thought processing
Forgetfulness
Poor decision making
High distractability
Edginess
Poor problem solving ability
Disorganization
Over Sharing
These are just a few of the things that can happen when we allow anxiety and fear to dominate any waiting period in our lives. Of course there are quite some popular quotes on worrying, and an all time popular one sung as que sera sera. Indeed, what will be is going to be. My personal favorite is the one that asks, if something can be done about it, why worry If nothing can be done about it, why worry!
But waiting with the right attitude and gutting anxious and fearful thoughts is not as easy as we sometimes imagine it to be. While Im deeply aware of how difficult it can be to manage worrying thoughts sometimes, I still sometimes find myself expecting people to be able to immediately shed their worrisome thoughts just because I said so as I have also experienced people often expecting me to shed my worrisome thoughts just because they said so. Worry never goes away just because we want it to go away.
Here are a few things that I have learned to implement in the course of managing the waiting process effectively:
THOUGHT DISCIPLINE: It is easy to believe that we are subject to our thoughts and are somehow helpless about when they pop up and how we handle them, but I have found that this is often not the case. That feeling of helplessness that accompanies worrying thoughts is a form of thought indiscipline, though a subconscious habit. It is in fact true that when you recognize yourself holding distressing thoughts, you can just stop thinking about it. No, this is not thought-blocking, rather it is acknowledging the presence of a particular quality to your thoughts and not lending it the emotional component that gives it the power to bloom into full anxiety and put you in overdrive.
EMOTIONAL DISCIPLINE: And talking of putting reins on our emotions, it can be very tasking to achieve this. The reason is because emotion exists on a spectrum and anxiety can often find other ways to interfere with your life. Anxiety can quickly become anger, extreme joy, talkativeness(cue over sharing), overeating, and all sorts of lability. Being unable to identify the source emotion that is sliding up and down the spectrum can be hard to curb. For me, I often take away every single reason that I think I have to act out using cognitive strengths. Theres absolutely a time and place for everything even though modern life touts endless possibilities and no boundaries. When your emotional strength is challenged, it is absolutely okay to switch into full on logic till your emotional strength is restored. And talking of logic
METACOGNITIVE STRENGTH: I first became aware of this word about 8yrs ago, and I have not stopped researching it. In simple terms, metacognition just refers to your ability to recognize how you think. The ability to look at yourself from different angles and understand your tendencies under different circumstances is a top tier skill. Other terms for metacognition are self-mastery and the likes of it, the components of which includes self-awareness, situational awareness, insightfulness, well trained instinct, and mindfulness. The one foolproof thing that sparks consciousness has always been meditation amongst many others. When anxious thoughts arise, employ literal stillness. Stillness takes away the haziness and the brain fog that comes with anxious thoughts.
Before I bring this article to conclusion, I want to add that worry on its own is an essential signal that is designed to help us tread carefully or pay closer attention to an element that we may be taking for granted. Its important to mention this because we live in the age of happiness addiction, and were bombarded with information that implies that worry is something that should completely be done away with. In reality, worry is protective when it occurs in the right amount. Unchecked, it becomes a problem in many ways.
I hope that you find these tips helpful. Theres no one size fits all solution for these things, and nobody knows how best to handle it better than anyone else because were all unique in personality and circumstances, but we can always tap into the collective knowledge of others and borrow something.
If you find this read enjoyable, give us a like and follow to read more of articles like this and be sure to share it with your friends and loved ones.
#calm #EmotionalStability #meta #metacognition #personalGrowth #resilience #stability #Stillness #ThoughtDiscipline #watchfulwaiting
Avis la population !
La prochaine lettre dactu est en partance pour vos botes-aux-lettres ! Elle arrivera chez vous ce samedi 6h du matin. De quoi bouriffer vos synapses et arer vos neurones.
Y seront notamment annoncs les prochains vnements pour nous voir en vrai, ainsi que la gagnante du concours de mmes crs par des auditeurices sur la base de la photo outrageusement badass du portrait de moi paru dans Tlrama.
"Conservatives exhibit greater metacognitive inefficiency, study finds"
*cough* *cough*
I'll just leave this here.
Psychognalogie et constellations familiales 1/5 SCRIPT #2
Psychognalogie et constellations familiales 2/5 SCRIPT #2
Psychognalogie et constellations familiales 3/5 SCRIPT #2
Psychognalogie et constellations familiales 4/5 SCRIPT #2
Psychognalogie et constellations familiales 5/5 SCRIPT #2
Le voyage astral 1/5 SCRIPT #2
Le voyage astral 2/5 SCRIPT #2
Le voyage astral 3/5 SCRIPT #2
Le voyage astral 4/5 SCRIPT #2
Le voyage astral 5/5 SCRIPT #2
The real is .
Comment reprer un coaching dangereux STREAM #15
cologie et sotrisme STREAM #14
Neither without nor without .
Metacognitive
Can we build a metacognitive mind
Most likely we do in some form perhaps . In its basic sense its simply thinking about thinking. Does it go deeper
Pour aider les et les utiliser l de manire responsable, Jen Stauffer et Jonathan Gold ont collabor llaboration dun arbre de dcision pour la prise de dcision des lves. Ce cadre peut aider les lves faire de meilleurs choix quant lutilisation des outils dIA et donner aux enseignants plus de confiance pour soutenir lutilisation des outils par les lves.
Source : Edutopia
L'intgration de de pr-questionnement et de en classe peut avoir un impact significatif sur les rsultats d' des lves.
Source : Bradley Busch InnerDrive
Rflchir aux expriences d' peut aider les lves comprendre quelles fonctionnent le mieux pour eux et amliorer leurs capacits de prise de dcision et d'apprentissage.
Source : Katie Novak Novak Educational Consulting
Le groupe de travail "Mtacognition et confiance en soi" du conseil scientifique de l'ducation nationale (CSEN) partage un de la .
Repr depuis un tweet de via un retweet de Nicolas Gaube aka Un prof heureux.
The work by Robert A. Bjork and his colleagues is very helpful to make sense of the limitations of learners perceptions. Here are 8 summary points from their paper about self-regulated learning.
Source: Bjork, R.A., Dunlosky, J., Kornell, N., 2013. Self-Regulated Learning: Beliefs, Techniques, and Illusions. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 64, 417444. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-113011-143823
Share this:
#learningStrategy #lifelongLearning #memory #metacognition #retrieval #selfManagedLearning #selfRegulatedLearning #transfer
Roots of unwholesome states:
(1) Attachment/Greed
(2) Aversion/Hate
(3) Delusion/Ignorance
Roots of wholesome states:
(1) Generosity
(2) Loving-kindness
(3) Wisdom (insight into impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and selflessness)
La vie est un roman SCOOP #11
Hey! My name is Ceryse. Ive taken over for the day at Renns request. Im a little deep-thinking introverted spitfire whos just as fond of cussing as he is, fortunately or unfortunately for yall. Todays deep thoughts are the result of weeks of contemplating that very thing thought itself. Im calling this post food for thought because I hope that itll both get you thinking as well as it will get you thinking about how you think and what you think about.
Curation, then Creation
During Eights complex, multi-phase , he got the entire system into the habit of posting consistently on social media for the first time ever. He had to he was essentially building an army of very vocal followers with which to visibly challenge his mothers and her familys control, something that would shake the family up from both within and without for years to come. That feat required engaging with that audience as early and often as he could. He couldnt let writers block or a lack of inspiration stop him. He had to be able to conjure content on command daily, his very life likely depended on it.
But how in the world did he pull something like that off
Renn mentioned the microblogging website Tumblr in his post about Dead Hand, but that wasnt all. He made an effort to surround himself with things and people that never ceased to give him that food for thought and inspiration he needed.
Food For Thought: the Appetizers
While we were still living in Alaska, Peri made a new Facebook account and made sure to only follow and add people who made her feel inspired. Allna had not done that with her profiles in the past and often ended up leaving Facebook for days to weeks at a time because she never felt like she was good enough for her own fucking timeline. It was horrible.
By that point, shed been depressed for a good half decade, and this did her absolutely no favors. She felt like everyone else had left her behind in life or was in far worse places than she was, and there was no relief from the despair either in her head or in her surroundings. So when Peri took over, she was determined not to make the same mistakes Allna did.
Looking back through her memories, those initial posts she shared are some of the funniest things Ive ever read. This was late 2019, and she was going hog-wild making fun of New Years Eve and New Years Day as concepts. She was also boosting her self confidence by posting about everything shed managed to accomplish every day, and found that she was actually far more capable than anyone had ever given her credit for, herself included. That practice helped her begin to dismantle all of the lies her family had told all of us practically from birth and blaze her own trail.
The Next Course: Rewiring the Brain and Finding Inspiration and Food For Thought in Rest
Once we were back in Texas and Dead Hand was well underway, shitposting was not Eights only concern. He stumbled headfirst into quite by accident because he wanted to master his emotions rather than them mastering him. So he threw himself into Stoic training to make himself more resourceful and resilient during the worst of Dead Hand, using breathing exercises to keep calm even under intensely terrifying situations.
He got so good at this over several months that he learned how to use his previously crippling panic attacks and anxiety as fuel to focus, something he wasnt great at before such rigorous training. He found a pleasant and unexpected consequence of that training if he let his mind wander while doing his breathing exercises to music that made him feel something and rested, he would come up with some truly amazing ideas for essays, fiction, even music.
Dead Hands Gift: Metacognition
Operation: Dead Hand may have bought us our freedom and taught us how to pull inspiration from near thin air, but it also pushed us past our breaking point in many ways. Eight had planned on writing an album about his mad flight from Texas, and that album finally came into fruition late in 2022. Close to half dead and sucked nearly dry of every bit of energy the bastard had, . He had never fully written an album of his own before, songwriting and production was mostly Allnas thing, but he was worried that hed die if he waited much longer for further expertise or inspiration.
One afternoon in December, he sat down in our apartments bathroom and sang the opening lines of what would become the systems fourteenth album, the one he thought would be our last, Metacognition: They say the night you left us, you cashed out in Indianapolis with nothing but a cell phone in your pocket. Ive been that haunted before, that scared of failing before, why did I survive while you did not
In truth, we dont have any fucking idea why we survived. But I, for one, am glad we did. I want to leave you, gentle reader, with a few questions: if youre a creative, where do you find your inspiration Where can you get more of it What ways can you rest What are some ways you can allow your mind to wander Who or what can you unfollow to make your social feeds more inspiring places
As always, stay tuned for more magic!
Ceryse
Wait, before you go! Weve been WebFingered (ha) and have joined the Fediverse. Give us a follow
.co"">#Alaska #creativity #deadHand #metacognition #onWriting #rest #songwriting #texas #tragicBackstory
Practice what you teach. Because teachings don't function as symbols or metaphorsthey are incarnations of what they advocate.
What if Im wrong Good thinkers frequently ask themselves this question, the way good doctors frequently check their practices against the Hippocratic oath they swore.
Distributed understanding is a real phenomenon, but you have to get yourself into a community of communicators that can effectively summon the relevant expertise.
What if Im wrong Good thinkers frequently ask themselves this question, the way good doctors frequently check their practices against the Hippocratic oath they swore.
Distributed understanding is a real phenomenon, but you have to get yourself into a community of communicators that can effectively summon the relevant expertise.
Study closes tomorrow
Exploring metacognition and autistic traits.
All online, survey and experimental task (30 mins).
Link:
Are you interested in taking part
Exploring metacognition and autism
All online, survey and experimental task (30 mins).
Won't work on mobiles.
Link:
---